Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
