the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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