Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
