I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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