I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
