Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
