Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
