I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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