I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
