My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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