I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
