The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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