she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
