her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
