just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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