It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
