I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
