After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
They have beer where we have blood.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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