My first STD was from a foam party
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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