he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
