So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Holy shit dude........stairs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
