Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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