After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
