Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
