apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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