somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
50% drunk capacity currently
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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