No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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