I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
