sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
