I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
