i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You took a bar mat shot.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
