I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
