All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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