Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
