you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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