on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
