Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
