So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
