Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
