Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
