Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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