I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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