She said her name was "party"
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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