Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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