i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
