It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
