SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
