i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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