Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
