party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
