Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
