You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I pour the whiskey from now on
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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