I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
