I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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