its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
